I am scared, not because of busy Chicago but the thought of going home, the thought of getting home and knowing that Grandma is no longer there. This fear, is tearing my heart into pieces. Longing for home, but home is not going to be the same anymore. Grandma visits me in my dreams every night as if she is still there, but I know she is just being the usual her—loving me. Oh, how can I fight this fear, this loneliness?